Frequently-asked Questions

Don’t you ever shut up?
I’m not sure. I’ve often worried about whether or not I talk in my sleep – this is why I dislike being a passenger on long car journeys.

Can I wear your glasses?
No. Unless you urgently need them as part of a disguise for a fun but legally ambiguous scheme, you cannot wear my glasses. I need them to see things.

Do you regret not going to university?
No, not even a little bit.

Do you agree to the terms and conditions?
Not remotely, but to save arguing, yes.

No offence, but do you have… like… problems?
Many. This conversation just became one of them.

Infrequently-asked Questions

Who are you?
I am a person who lives in South-East England. I’m not famous, nor have I invented anything important. Sometimes I talk too loudly, normally about something ridiculous or creepy.

Why does this website exist?
Several reasons. Firstly, the domain is one of several I use for email. Secondly, after being asked a number of times for my website address by important people, I decided my old index page wasn’t ideal. Thirdly, other reasons.